Foyer of Soho Ritzzeria – Greek Street

Scene                  : Foyer of hotel – celebrities everywhere

Present               : Georgie, Raymond then Queen Genevieve, Tone, Elsie and Wayne

Background       : Georgie has arranged to meet Raymond at this ‘neutral venue’

 

Raymond : Of all the gin joints in this part of London, you chose this one – why Georgie ?

Georgie : (speaking with strong cockney accent) I ‘appen to know you don’t own this one – and we need neutral ground., mate

Raymond : That is your prerogative young fellow. It matters not a jot to me ! The message is the same whichever crumby total foyer you wish to bring me to.

Georgie : That message being what ?

Raymond : That you are to take throw your next game – Nice vs Saint-Etienne. Simply commit an outrageous foul in your penalty box – not so much to ask ?

Georgie : Else ? What are ya gonna do ?

Raymond : Let’s see, perhaps the young women of this world should know that you were a fat kid ! Geroge the Porge if I recall correctly ? And perhaps we should inform the French Football association that you are actually English ? And perhaps, most importantly, we should confirm to the police and the News of the World that it is indeed a youthful – if portly – Georgie Le Bon – who was captured on CCTV trying to hold up club in Greek Street ? No – what do you think.

Georgie : I could have been a World Cup hero – I could have been up there with Bobby More this summer holding up the trophy. You let West Ham management know that I was a petty thief . Oh the glory ! The glory I missed because of you ! – you enrolled me into your murky world of crime ! You were like a modern day Fagin !

Raymond : Oh dear boy, spare me the histrionics ! I seem to recall you begging me to give a job back then

Georgie : I was a fifteen year old orphan – you bastard.

Raymond : (concerned that Georgie has lost it) Keep you voice down or I’ll have you removed from my hotel – do you hear.

(just then the actual owner of the hotel – a certain Sicilian by the name of Tone walks across the foyer to where Raymond and Georgie are arguing)

Tone : If you don’t mind, can I just remind you that this is actually my hotel ! And what the hell are you doing in it !

Raymond : My Italian friend and business rival, Tone, or should I say Antonioionionion….haha – as our mutal friend, Michael Payne would say, ‘Not many people know that !’

Tone : Enough of that or I’ll bash you up the hooter – I said what the hell are you doing on my tuft ?

Raymond : (looking across the foyer he spots Queen and Princess Poppy) Well, I see that you also appear to be hosting Genovian royalty today ?

Queen : (looking to Raymond) Oh, you horrid man. What are you doing here ?

Raymond : I’m just conducting some business affairs with my famous ‘French’ footballer friend, if you’ll allow me to alliterate. None other than Georgie le Bon.

(Georgie sees Queen for first time since they left Southampton together)

Georgie : Jenny ! Jenny – is it really you.

(Queen is somewhat disoriented by the development – also drops her accent and falls easily back into her Croydon accent)

Queen : George – George Boot – is that you  ?

(Raymond – seeing an opportunity for further devilment)

Raymond : Well isn’t this pleasant, we seem to have multiple reunions all happening at the same time. We have what I can only deduce as a ‘family’ reunion of Queen – shall we say Queen Jenny of sarff London with her, shall we say childhood sweetheart Antonionioni…and of course the dear little Poppy of whom we shall not make conjections

Tone : Shut it ! Else I swear I’ll take you down right here and right now.

Raymond : Well none of you will be taking me down – but rest assured, I will be taking each and every one of you down if you refuse this old chap a few favours in the coming years